Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
