There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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