i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
