god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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