i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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