My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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