It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
50% drunk capacity currently
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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