fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
