why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
