If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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