I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
