I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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