College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
