just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
