Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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