I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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