Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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