I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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