He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
