based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
