everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
We smell like vodka and hangover
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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