i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
