We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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