spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
