After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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