dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
