with your own penis?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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