you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
