i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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