i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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