Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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