just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize