I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
