6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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