It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
