i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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