Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize