She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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