Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
