You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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