well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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