Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize