i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
They are going to name an STD after you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
