cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
