the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
