I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
