So drunk its hurt
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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