Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
