I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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