used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
