when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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