I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize