Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
operation have a gay friend backfired
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
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the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.