Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.