She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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