He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
